Follow-Through

I have been on a wonderful journey called life and I have been engaged in my journey on deeper and deeper levels over the past 10 years. One of my biggest learnings is how mattering and loving myself seem to go hand in hand with following through on commitments I make to myself.

As I enter the month of November, I have a wonderful opportunity to reflect. November is a month of losses yet, also a month of facing those losses with triumphs. Today I am reflecting on the loss of my partner. I find it hard to believe it has been 10 years. Yet, when I reflect on my decision to shift from taking care of others to taking care of myself and all the hard work, I have done it feels like a hundred years sometimes.

On the 18 November, two weeks post my partners death I began a healing journey with Inspired Living Medical. What a journey it has been. I am grateful for all the people I met through this forum and all the people I continue to meet.

I began my journey to health by being scooped up by my friend Ruth and her husband Larry. They created space for me to crash and get some much-needed rest. I will be forever grateful for the role they have and continue to play in my life of holding space so I can grow and be my best self. We all need people who love us unconditionally. So, thank you.

Once I began to get rested, I was much more capable of learning all the new skills I was offered through groups I attended. I learned about SMART goals, and I have been making SMART goals ever sense. What is important is I not only make my goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time sensitive I followed through to the best of my ability week after week until they became part of the habit of my lifestyle.

I bought an apple watch the 14 November 2018. I had a learning curve to learn how to close all three of my apple watch rings. However today I will have closed them 1806 times. Here is yesterday's accomplishment!

On the 23 of November, I will have reached five (5) years of closing my rings. How? I was committed and continue to be committed to moving my body each day. On Thursday I was feeling quite ill. Yet I did a 21 min hike, 15 minutes on my walking pad and 15 minutes on my rower. Yesterday, my illness prevented me from getting my hike in, my walking pad and rower done. I am rolling with that. Learning to be flexible. I am not sure what today will bring.

I joined WW which was known at the time as Wellness Wins. They promoted support to live our best lives using four pillars. Sleep, Mindset, Activity and Food. It was right up my alley. I had worked hard at having a healthy sleep routine, my therapy helped me significantly with mindset and I had joined CrossFit to learn to move my body in ways I was not used to. I needed support around food. I believe that fundamentally this has been a good fit. I do struggle with some aspects. Yet, the communities I have been part of have given strength and vitality. People have embraced me and while sometimes we need to agree to disagree it is respectful and I am so grateful. I have SMART goals under the four pillars that I track daily, and I feel supported to live my best life.

I decided to work on and engage in relationships with my birth family. It has been an amazing journey and such a gift. This I believe is possible as I decided to live my life freely through the lens of love. Allowing grace for both me and others. I as well as my siblings have worked hard to mend fences and be in each other's presence. I have no words to express living the impossible. Amazing, healing opens possibilities for my future.

I have a new SMART goal that is not on any spreadsheets. It is written in my heart. I am going to tackle my relationship with G*d on a new level. I will begin by taking a course in January 2024 on the Virtue of Friendship (The Ethics and Play of Friendship) I will take it online through the Atlantic School of Theology. I will explore, write about, and work out deep wounds. I do believe it will be a dual challenge of finding G*d in the same sentence of friend and sorting out my mom and how she was gone when I was so young that I never got to the stage of being held in a friendship kind of way.

Mattering and living freely through the lens of love has been a journey of loving myself on deeper and deeper levels. Helping me to decide life is worth taking the change to live. Be free and build a vibrant life.

I have been on a wonderful journey called life and I have been engaged in my journey on deeper and deeper levels over the past 10 years. One of my biggest learnings is how mattering and loving myself seem to go hand in hand with following through on commitments I make to myself.

I have been touched by so many people on my journey of learning to follow-through on loving the human being in the mirror. The good, the bad and the ugly. All loveable. Each time I meet a goal I reinforce I am loved. Each time I take things to a new level I understand I am lovable. It has not always been this way and there are aspects of feeling lovable that are still at large. I have faith I am moving in the right direction.

May you enjoy the gift of following through on commitments you make for yourself!