Mindset (part 1) I can do hard things!

Lunges have always been difficult for me. There have been many times in my life when I was not able to do lunges. Today I am capable. I am grateful for that ability. It will help me as I move through my day.

I have been on and continue to be on a wonderful journey called life. I am grateful for all the times I have shifted my mindset in the direction of being able to live my best life. Shifting my mindset over the years has been one of the most rewarding investments in truly treating myself like I matter.

I am engaged in my life. I am committed to living my life freely through the lens of love. How this plays out is always curious to me. There are many layers to living my life through that particular lens. One of them is 'I can do hard things.'

Often in my life I acknowledge there are hard things in front of me. I often start out by wishing I could do that hard thing. Then I shift from wishing to wanting. I take steps towards problem solving whatever is in front of me. As the hard thing that seems a little bit out of my reach becomes more manageable, I often find that I commit and tackle the task and figure it out.

Since the death of my partner and mother in-law I have been focusing what WW (Weight Watchers) refers to as the four pillars. They are sleep, exercise, food and mindset. There is a fifth powerful pillar that connects them all and that is called community. Community has been the deepest reflection into my own mindset. I am every so grateful for each person I have crossed paths with in each of the communities I have been privileged to encounter.

I believe the pillar of mindset is the one that influences the opportunities for my wellness wins and leads to the many triumphs along the path towards health and wellness. My belief in 'I know I can do hard things' allows me the grace to follow through consistently on all the S.M.A.R.T. goals. I set these within the values of how I choose to live out the life I am gifted with.

I heard over and over this past week.....'If you think you can you can' and 'if you think you can't you can't.' That has been true in many of my encounters. However, I have also been gifted with the mindset of even when I think I can't I am willing to try anyway. I am willing to wait for however long it takes to get to the place of change. I have a history of doing hard things. Things that in retrospect blow my mind.

I am a survivor of many things. We all are as we journey through life. I have experienced a life where boundary violations were a regular thing until they were not . I experienced boundaries in different contexts and learned from so many people. Differences provided much fodder for learning and growing. As I became increasingly curious over the years I learned how to set great boundaries. To stay in my own lane on the highway of life. It was not easy and at times is still hard. Yet, I can do hard things.

I have been on a long, long, very long learning curve of being present in a body I had felt betrayed me. A body I dissociated from and a mindset of homelessness from the container that has housed me for 64 years. When I was twenty, I lost my mom to cancer and I experienced homelessness on another new level. I have been on a journey of coming home in my body for over forty years. I am the closest I have ever been and believe I have tipped the scale from homelessness to feeling very much at home in my body. The mirror work I have been doing over the past few months has kind of tipped the scale. The hard work of 'I can do this' in terms of being the healthiest version of myself has given me the confidence to embrace my whole self and say Yes You Can!

One thing I know about myself is I am willing to try hard things in the midst of fear, uncertainty and vulnerability. In the midst of what is known as 'old brain' (see post Old Brain versus New Brain March 30, April 6 and April 13, 2023), I have a thread continuously connected to my curiosity, imagination and looking at the world through the lens of the glass being half full! It is how I survived and thrived the life I encountered. It is how I live my best life today.

When I am in 'new brain' my belief in 'I can do hard things' is accessible and flows though how I navigate my day. In WW (Weight Watchers) they refer to this as the 'cold state.'

When I am in new brain I can think through things and I can consciously choose to make the choice to do hard things despite the challenges in front of me. When I am in old brain not so much. In new brain I am able to self-soothe and bring myself to safety when I feel vulnerable. In old brain I am immersed in the state of being unsafe and have a hard time to remember to do the things that would bring me back to safety. Old brain and the hot state in the WW (Weight Watcher's) world line up.

I am grateful that I live in safety. Physical safety, financial safety and emotional safety. Does it feel safe 100% of the time? No. Yet, my baseline is so high that I notice when I am not in safety and take care of myself. I am aware. Being in new brain allows me to be aware.

I have what Carol Dweck calls a growth mindset. I believe I am a strong, capable woman who can learn new things. That my brain can carve new pathways and I can nurture these pathways.

On my life journey I happened to take a course with Brené Brown. It was part of becoming the healthiest version of myself. As part of that course I had the opportunity to explore some of the thoughts that held me back. I took the opportunity to write those thoughts in a scrap book. I sat with them, thanked them for what they offered in my life. Then I covered each one with a band-aid. I wrote a new message on my page over the old. The message I wanted my future self to embrace.

Low and behold as I lived the new messages they become my first thoughts. They are now the stronger pathways in my brain. Yes, the other pathways come up. Mostly when I am in 'old brain' or the 'hot state'. However, it is so exciting to live the stronger pathways.

I live a life where 95% of the time I not only think I can! I know I can. A knowing deep in the core of my being. A body-felt sense. It makes for such a beautiful life.

Resources:

Yes Yes I Can - Rayelle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67osOolVHL8

The Three Main Parts Of Your Brain by Dr. Russ Harris: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CpRY9-MIHA

Old Brain New Brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBBZRsM3xB0

Getting out of our own way: Wish - Want - Commit Inspired Living Medical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egBwru0f8lw

Developing a Growth Mindset with Carol Dweck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiiEeMN7vbQ