MY SUPERPOWERS..........

Psychological Flexibility (part 2)

I am

the chessboard

I am a magical chessboard

holding

exquisite powers

of observing

the

opening or closing

of the

the chessboard squares

as I interact with the world

allowing parts of myself to

share

my inner world

with you

&

with myself

in any given moment

being flexible

taking various perspectives

depending on the lens

I look through

allowing parts of you

to interact with me

as you choose

I am not the chess pieces

the black and white kings, rooks, bishops, knights or pawns

nor am I the moves the pieces make

I am not

my

thoughts

feelings

sensations

nor

memories

nor the chess pieces

you may play on my chess board

you are part of the

content of my life

taking away

or giving

life

always teaching

I listen

I hear

I see

I interact

I know

what I know

in this moment

the here and now

often

against the content of

what I knew in that moment

the moment of before

the moment of then and there

I recognize

what I did not know

before

in any given moment

I shift and change to who I am in this moment

the here and now

I know

I hold

POWER

mystical, magical powers

of being present

from a place of

living my life freely

through the lens of love

in each moment

of each hour

of each minute

of each second

every day

Self as context vs self at content is one of those challenging concepts I learned during my Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It comes in handy on weeks like this one. As I engage in the material of the WW (weight watchers) topic of the week I am required to shape it from the context of my observer self. From the place of psychological flexibility.

In my WW (weight watchers) journey this week we are talking about "What happens to my body during weight-loss? The question itself evokes a visceral response. One that I feel to the tips of my toes. One I can observe as I stand tall from my chessboard self. One where I can distance myself from my own content arising and not feel trapped. One that walks a different path than the material being offered. The material of the topic itself offers a separate and different emotional response. I can observe that too.

We are learning the metrics of health and what is known as non-scale victories (NSV). I have loads of NSV. Yet it depends on the lens in which I look through. In terms of each of the pillars of WW (weight watchers)--Sleep, mindset, activities, and food, I have well defined goals and ways to measure these goals. I am an expert at tracking data. I have loads of data in which to celebrate non-scale victories (NSV).

Do I connect with my body as it shifts and changes in terms of improved sleep or maybe improved mood? What about my sense of mobility? Can I connect to lower blood sugar and/or cholesterol? What about my joint pain? Can I attach to the possibility that I am at a decreased risk of dying from a heart attack or from experiencing diabetes? The answer is yes and no. From my observer self (the place of context) I can connect with all these things as reasonable and possible and most likely shaping my life in this current moment. From the place of the content of my life self, it is harder. I am 100 lbs down, yet, I am suffering from arthritis and sciatica pain down both legs so my sense of mobility has decreased instead of increased. I am curious to find my statistics to compare my blood work and see the actual differences in data. I have family history of both death by a heart attack and a parent who lived with diabetes and sibling who currently lives with diabetes. I know losing weight makes a difference.

As I hear the sentence "What happens to my body during weight-loss?" I have information that floats into my consciousness that is not in line with the way the workshops are being shaped. Information shaped by thoughts, memories, sensations and feeling in terms of my physical body. Thoughts that shape the content of the container which houses the essence of my being. Some of the content is shaped by thoughts of how am I ever going to deal with all this loose skin? How will I navigate a world where safety was tied up with putting on weight and now that I am beginning to see that loss am I still safe? How am I going to deal with the visibility that comes with weight loss? How am I ever going to deal with the sense of becoming more attractive and the attention that garnishes?

Both lenses hold truths. They hold the content that shapes my life. How do I hold both lenses lightly out there observing them bouncing around on my chessboard making the best decisions to live the life I want to live. Loving myself through the lens that will set me free. Allowing me to move in a body that I can be both present to and yet free from at the same time?

As I moved through this week engaging with people asking myself the question "what happens to my body as I lose weight?" I recognize I will only know when I stop, take time to look in the mirror, and observe the me looking back. Be in the context. So that is what I will do. I will set aside 2 minutes each day to observe the me looking in the mirror and not get caught up in the content of what ebbs and flows.