Psychological Flexibility (part 3)
In the days before I joined my Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) I was part of a meditation practice through the Shambhala Centre in Halifax. I completed all five (5) levels of training. During level 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 I was aware that I had many, many, many thoughts that filtered through my mind. We were taught to label our thoughts as thinking. Then go back to breathing and being present to any given moment as we were able.
I sat....thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking etc., you know what I mean for the 20 or so minutes of each sessions that took place over an eight hour day. Eventually, if I did not fall asleep, I got to witness a pause between thoughts. A moment of nothingness. This experience of the pause was a valuable skill developed over time with the help of my training and my meditation practice. I brought this training and practice with me to my Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
When I first started Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) I was aware of how many darn thoughts and stories went through my brain continuously. I was also aware of the speed at which they travelled, shifted and influenced my quality of life. I was not always aware of what the sequence of thoughts were, nor did I know what to do with them other than label them thinking. During my therapy I was exposed to Cognitive defusion and its flip side Cognitive fusion. I was exposed to defusion strategies which helped me get unstuck from my stories and thoughts!
Just what is Cognitive Defusion? Simply put, cognitive fusion is a union, blending, or merging with our thoughts. While defusion is having separation from our thoughts. One way to have the separation is to see our thoughts through our observer self. The observer self and being in this observer self is a skill which was helpful when it came to practicing some of the cognitive defusion Strategies. Last week I talked about the observer self. I am including some resources today that will help with a deeper understanding of what I am sharing. Please see the Resource section at the end of the page. What I would like to share with you are my top three defusion strategies:
1. Visualizing: A process of letting go
Imagine
sitting by a stream
observing
the you
that is having the thought
I am not good enough
Now imagine
watching the you
having that thought
deciding
to place the you
with that thought
on a leaf
pausing while
witnessing it
as it blows away
in the gentle breeze
landing on a lake
at the water's edge
floating by the you
observing the you on the leaf
You can visualize your thoughts on a cloud, a car passing by on the street, musical notes floating away....so many options. Using your imagination can be a fun way to enhance this strategy. I have used the leaf floating on a stream for a very long time. I find it useful. I also find that as I let go of the thought that I must to make room for uncomfortable feelings that arise. I do this so I can live from my values not my thoughts, feeling nor sensations.
2. Anchoring:
I was reminded this past week in my WW (weight watchers) journey of the power of anchoring. I decided to take on the challenge of being more present in my body. Of being more aware of myself from the perspective of the whole. I decided to look at myself in the mirror for two minutes each day and notice what comes up. When I shared this in my Friday morning workshop, I was reminded that this would be a great opportunity to pair music with this journey. I chose Heather Bishop and her song "Yes to Life". I chose this piece as it has been an anchor to my strong and healthy self over the years. Doing the hard thing of looking in the mirror and hearing my own internal dialogue followed by my anchor song is priceless.
3. Labeling or Naming
As I look in the mirror, I am aware of having the sensation of being vulnerable. I say to myself I am having the sensation of being vulnerable. I name what is happening. I meet the sensation of being vulnerable with curiosity, label it and let it come and I let it go. Breathing in and breathing out. I stay with it for the time I set aside to look in the mirror.
We have all kinds of stories about ourselves. When life gets really tough and I lose my confidence, the "I wish I did not exist story comes up". I work hard at noticing that story. It is a story that is not in line with my value to live freely through the lens of love. I imagine that story as a rowdy/annoying passenger on my bus. I imagine stopping my bus and kicking that passenger to the curb! My goal is to stay focused on my value and drive my bus safely to its destination!
Another strategy I use is imagining a parrot on my left shoulder.....doing what a parrot does...repeating my thought or story over and over again. Trying to make me believe it is from a good place. I notice the annoying things it is saying and kick that bird right off my shoulder!
I can notice my thoughts and say them in slow motion. It shifts things. Try it! Another way is to imagine the thought as a pop-up on your computer screen. Practice closing the pop-up screen and getting rid of the thought.
Some of the strategies I have not really embraced yet, are helpful to others is using a silly voice. The strategy is to repeat the unhelpful thought in a silly voice. Thus, getting unstuck from the thought. Get creative and have fun with it.
There is the Swipe or Squish. The idea is to imagine a scary scenario then, swipe with your finger across your cell phone and imagine living in line with your values or to imagine the scary story as an image on your shoulder and squish it like a bug. I have imagined the scary story as a piece of dust and blew it into the wind.
I hope this has whet your appetite to explore how you can unhook from your unhelpful thoughts and live the valued life you would like to life.
Resources:
Defusion-- I'm noticing I'm having a thought..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=kwlYXupjoaI
Cognitive Fusion and Defusion in ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=CpdVMs818AE
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Defusion https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=BXAzdXJGMeE
Stop Overthinking: Leaves on a Stream ACT Anxiety Skill #30
Sushi Train Metaphor by Dr. Russ Harris
The Poisoned Parrot
Heather Bishop "Yes to Life" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLnEMf26Ab0
Just gotta say, fucking (sorry) AWESOME! Thank you nor
Love the concepts of coginitive fusion and defusion. The words really work for me. As always your life stories are so inspiring and you manage to inject joy into everything. I love your examples of defusion practices and the videos, especially the one about the leaf floating down the stream. It was very effective as I was involved in a struggle in the background of my mind while reading your post!! I've bookmarked it and will use it again. Thanks so much for posting your blog Noreen. I get so much out of it.
Thank You
Another powerful writing with new techniques that would be helpful for me. My mind is on online the time with a mouth inside that won't shut up! I have to say there may be some ADHD involved. I have practiced meditation over the years, however it was only for short periods of time. I understand that it takes a real commitment - one I would like to make to self.
The cognitive fusion and de-fusion is a new way for me to look at thoughts. I so appreciate this skill and will seriously look at starting to practice it. I am a visual learner so your leaf, bug on the shoulder, parrot and kicking that rowdy/annoying passenger off the bus…